YaRd PiMp

Hello.

My grandfather, Belo, is a YaRd PiMp, yiggity yo. The majority of you reading this probably have no clue what a yard pimp does. He is a translator for Mexicans that own a landscaping business. Before you get offended please know that when I say "Mexicans," I say it with the utmost respect. I was offended one time and asked Belo, "Why do you call them the Mexicans?" He responded with this, "That is what they are, they are Mexican." I then asked, "Well would you be offended if someone called you the Cuban?" He proudly snapped back, "NO! That is what I am, I am a Cuban."

Belo has a very strict daily routine. He does the same thing day in and day out. A couple times in college I lived with them, 6 months here, 6 months there. One night I asked him politely if he would mind depositing a check for me at my bank (please note my bank is approximately 5 minutes from his house). His response was this, "Oh no, I have sooo much to do tomorrow." His accent is even thicker and more Cubano than Belita's. I said, "Oh really? What exactly are you doing tomorrow?" I'm not exaggerating, this is exactly what he said, "I have to wake up, I have to go outside and water de plants, I then have to go inside and make espresso, after I drink my espresso I have to go back outside, outside I have to blow de driveway, then I have to go back inside and shower (remember his shower routine takes 2 hours), after de shower I have to go to de store to buy strawberries, after de store I have to check de mail, I don't have time to go to da bank." Then he started complaining how one time he had to change my cousins tire??? The man cannot stand to go out of his comfort zone or routine. Amazing.

Back to the yard pimp, one time I came into the house and he was on the phone with a customer of the Mexicans. He takes instructions, directions, etc. and then he instructs the Mexicans what to do. I use to worry about him being bored during the day but Belo has plenty to do! He loves telling stories of how he translates for them. The Mexicans charge my roommate and me only $30! My grandfather proudly says its because "You are my granddaughter."

So if you need your yard to be pimped, holla!

Thank you, bye.