My Daily Crack

McDonalds Iced Coffee. My drug of choice: Sugar Free Vanilla Iced Coffee.

Go. Buy. A. Cup.

GTL

So my sister, Ashley, came in town last week for our Big Fat Cuban Reunion. We were laying in bed watching a Jersey Shore re-run and she looked at me and said, "Let's go to Jersey for my Bachelorette Party!" My immediate response was "OMG, get engaged right now."

How amazing would a Fist Pumping, Guidette Bachelorette Party be?!?! Even though Ashley is not engaged, I am going to start planning her bachelorette party right now since I'm the Maid of Honor. She hasn't asked me yet or anything, but I am her only sister, so its okay if I just assume the position, right? Okay, yeah, I thought so too.

So you maybe asking yourself, what do Fist Pumping Guidettes do on a Bachelorette Party? Here is the list:

1. First and foremost, nicknames. We must all have nicknames. For example, a possible nickname for me could be "A-Powww."

2. We must GTL before the trip, Gym Tan Laundry. Must be buff, must be bronze, and must be bangin in our white tee's.

3. We must go shopping at 579 or Rainbow for our attire. Think cropped shirts, short shorts and an animal print dress for the Bride (preferably zebra print). We will need big hoops, big heels, big sunglasses, french manicure fake nails, trucker hats and of course a Coach or LV Purse to complete the ensemble.

4. Must all have the poof, everyone must have a bumpits in their hair at all times, even in bed. I'm talking about the Hollywood bumpit. Nothing else will do.

Bump...bump, bump it up

5. We must master the myspace picture pose. Kissy face, chukin the deuce kinda pose people.

Dats wat I'm twalkin' bout

This is my sister, Ashley. Already a pro at the kissy face! LYLAS!

6. We must find tan, sexy, gorilla men to fistpump with at da club.

Will you marry my sister, Superman? See above pic.

7. Everyone must get Henna Tattoos on low back (or a real tattoo if they are feeling frisky).



8. The only kind of food allowed on the trip will be Italian. If you don't like Italian food get the Eff out of Jersey.

MAHHH! Gimme some Meatballs!

9. Everyone has to talk with a Jersey accent, even if it sucks.


10. Last and most importantly, everyone must fist pump all day, everyday.

Y'all Feelz Me?