Pre-cleanse Day One: The Clean Cleanse

Thursday, July 18th:

Let me start this the right way.  This is actually embarrassing for me because I honestly only share this information with close friends.  My starting weight before this cleanse is 138 pounds.  This is heavy for me.  I joined Weight Watchers in September 2012 with a start weight of 137 pounds.  I lost 13 lbs during that diet and since then I have gained it all back plus one!  My ideal and happy weight is 120 as I am 5'3".  I want to be extremely candid during this experience not only because I want to document this journey as my diary, but I truly want to share this with my friends.

The Clean Cleanse is suppose to "reset your body the right way". I don't want to fluff this up or make you all think it's something it's not.  I'm overweight right now and trying to get control before I get out of control.  I am not expecting to lose a ton of weight during this cleanse, but my goal is truly to reset my body and rid it of toxins.  Once that is done I am hoping it will jump start me into a healthier life style.  Maybe even returning to Weight Watchers as that was a successful and pleasant diet for me.

Today I am starting my three day pre-cleanse before I start my actual 21 day Clean Cleanse.  The pre-cleanse consists of eating three meals a day from approved "Clean Cleanse" foods.  By doing this you don't throw your body into a full tail spin, you actually ease it into the full cleanse.  During this full cleanse process I cut out all gluten, dairy, sugar and alcohol.  The cleanse consists of three pre-cleanse days, 21 day cleanse and a seven day re-introduction (which I'm most excited about).  During the re-introduction phase I introduction gluten and dairy back into my diet separately to determine if they are "toxic triggers" for me.  Toxic Triggers are food products that really cause my body to go out of whack.

Last night after I stuffed myself with wine and Mexican food I went grocery shopping!  Phew, that was exhausting.  It was a few hours of research, too much money and prep time afterwards.  I spent hours researching approved foods, recipes, and really trying to learn why I have to eliminate certain foods.  For instance, strawberries and bananas?   I eat a banana everyday!  Other than wine I think this is the most disappointing thing I'm going to give up!  I just love bananas!

This is me with my cleanser binder at checkout. 

So at the grocery store I bought all kinds of new, expensive items.  Who knew almond flour was so expensive!  $10 for a normal size bag?!  Seriously?  Moving on....  I also bought coconut oil, unsweetened almond milk, almond butter, etc. just all these things I've never purchased!  I also bought apples, cherries, celery, blueberries, onions, scallions, tuna fish in water, chicken, ground turkey, the list goes on and on.

After I got home from the store I began to prep.  I decided for my lunch I would prepare tuna fish and serve it over lettuce.  I made tuna fish that included celery, red onion, stone ground mustard, dill, salt and pepper and of course tuna fish.  Also with my lunch I had some raw almonds and fresh cherries.  It turned out really delicious!  This would be a great recipe to make cleanse or not.  I made almond flour pancakes with fresh blueberries for breakfast.  Very delicious and filling.

Pancakes on the left and tuna fish on the right.

For dinner I prepared pickled vegetables with an Asian turkey burger.  I served it over lettuce.  Turned out quite scrumptious!  It was really easy to make, simple flavors and seriously so good.  I am going to add this to my normal book of recipes.  Even David enjoyed it!

Asian Turkey Burgers

Throughout the day I drank a ton of water and overall wasn't hungry.  I had zero caffeine and all I drank was water.  I had one snack during the day and that was a gala apple.  Day one turned out much better than I thought!  Please feel free to ask me any questions.  If you'd like any of the recipes featured today you can email me at alicialeighalonso@gmail.com.


Signing out.

My Daily Crack

McDonalds Iced Coffee. My drug of choice: Sugar Free Vanilla Iced Coffee.

Go. Buy. A. Cup.

GTL

So my sister, Ashley, came in town last week for our Big Fat Cuban Reunion. We were laying in bed watching a Jersey Shore re-run and she looked at me and said, "Let's go to Jersey for my Bachelorette Party!" My immediate response was "OMG, get engaged right now."

How amazing would a Fist Pumping, Guidette Bachelorette Party be?!?! Even though Ashley is not engaged, I am going to start planning her bachelorette party right now since I'm the Maid of Honor. She hasn't asked me yet or anything, but I am her only sister, so its okay if I just assume the position, right? Okay, yeah, I thought so too.

So you maybe asking yourself, what do Fist Pumping Guidettes do on a Bachelorette Party? Here is the list:

1. First and foremost, nicknames. We must all have nicknames. For example, a possible nickname for me could be "A-Powww."

2. We must GTL before the trip, Gym Tan Laundry. Must be buff, must be bronze, and must be bangin in our white tee's.

3. We must go shopping at 579 or Rainbow for our attire. Think cropped shirts, short shorts and an animal print dress for the Bride (preferably zebra print). We will need big hoops, big heels, big sunglasses, french manicure fake nails, trucker hats and of course a Coach or LV Purse to complete the ensemble.

4. Must all have the poof, everyone must have a bumpits in their hair at all times, even in bed. I'm talking about the Hollywood bumpit. Nothing else will do.

Bump...bump, bump it up

5. We must master the myspace picture pose. Kissy face, chukin the deuce kinda pose people.

Dats wat I'm twalkin' bout

This is my sister, Ashley. Already a pro at the kissy face! LYLAS!

6. We must find tan, sexy, gorilla men to fistpump with at da club.

Will you marry my sister, Superman? See above pic.

7. Everyone must get Henna Tattoos on low back (or a real tattoo if they are feeling frisky).



8. The only kind of food allowed on the trip will be Italian. If you don't like Italian food get the Eff out of Jersey.

MAHHH! Gimme some Meatballs!

9. Everyone has to talk with a Jersey accent, even if it sucks.


10. Last and most importantly, everyone must fist pump all day, everyday.

Y'all Feelz Me?

Something Old, Something New

I know I've been MIA, so please accept my apology.

So I have moved back in with my grandparents. Remember them? I'm in the middle of relocating with Hertz, Sarah (my old roommate) got engaged (YAY!), so it was good timing to move back in with the ole ball and chains!

(Belita and Belo)


They just celebrated their 58th Wedding Anniversary! 58 years! Belo said, "I been with her my whole life, sisty fie chears" (65 years). So Belita made us steaks and we drank wine. I love my new roommates! So in honor of their milestone I am going to tell you some of my favorite Belita and Belo stories. I like to call them "Cuban Socialites."

1 They went to Mexico for a month long honeymoon. On this honeymoon they swam in a pool covered with flowers, had cocktails on the President of Argentina's yacht, and danced in a club where you had to take your shoes off because the tide covers the dance floor.

2 They spent four years apart while Belita was in America and Belo was still in Cuba.

3 I love their daily routine. It does not change. I hate change. Belita watches her Spanish Soap Operas on Telemundo and Belo takes two hours to get ready everyday.

4 I love when they tell me about their wedding day. And I'm even more grateful they were able to get some photos from Cuba of that day. It was the epitome of elegance and beauty. I mean they were, after all, Cuban Socialites. (side note: my scanner is in storage, so I can't upload pictures from their wedding).

This weekend we are celebrating Belo and Belita's 80th Birthdays! My entire Cuban family is coming to Baton Rouge and we are having a big dinner at Jubans. It will be a weekend full of love, family, wine and drama. I will fill everyone in on my Big Fat Cuban Reunion next week! ADIOS AMIGOS!

Te Quiero Mucho,

That Cuban Girl

Steroid Summer

Hello.

I know it has almost been two months since my last post and I apologize! The new gig at hertz is taking over my social and blogging life!

I love Louisiana. I have lived in Louisiana for almost six years now. But for realz, WTF is with the heat and bugs this summer??? It's like they are on STEROIDS. Everyday it is 98 degrees or hotter and the bugs are EVERYWHERE!

Roids Bad

I went to my grandparents house Monday night for arroz con pollo (chicken and rice white people) and when I got home I freaked. There were a least 1,000 bugs SWARMING my front door. I immediately took off my shoe and started my killing spree. THEN, I walk inside, look back at the front door and there it was, GODZILLA of bugs trying to slither under the door. Again, I remove my shoe and "kill" it. I pick it up with a paper towel and place it in the trash. I go about my business and then come back to find THE OTHER HALF OF IT COMING OUT OF THE GARBAGE! Then on top of that, a baby version of the godzilla bug has also come out of it and was climbing in my garbage! I immediately start screaming for my roommate. She is sound asleep and unaware of the gruesome scene that is taking place right down the hallway.

Godzilla

Of course I killed the other half of the mutant bug and then killed its offspring. So I figured I was good for the rest of the night. I screamed a few times, jumped around the kitchen, and successfully slaughtered the intruders. Yep, I was feeling pretty good. I go into the bathroom closet to get my mouthwash and what do I see? A ROACH!!!! KDAJKDJFJADKFJAKLDFJAKD! WTF! I almost started crying at that point. Again, I removed my shoe and killed. I finished up my nightly routine and went to bed in fear. Fear that more bugs would come torture me in my sleep. Needless to say, I hate BUGS during the summer in Louisiana. They are mutant bugs out to ruin my summer.

Bug that tried to eat me ^

Thank you, bye!

P.S. Pat, can we get some rain in the Red Stick???? My Yard is THIRSTY!

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

*Note: Pat is the weatherman and red stick=baton rouge.

Cinco de Mayo

Hola.

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO AMIGOS! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(What ju lookin at?)

Gracias, adios.

Good Ole Days

Hello.

(The Original Facebook Log In Screen)

I like to live a simple life, free of complications, relaxing and peaceful. When I first joined facebook in 2004 that's just how it was, SIMPLE. Back in the good ole days, Facebook was small and did its job perfectly. It allowed me to connect with people from my past and keep up with them. I was allowed to have one picture and one picture only, my main profile picture. It was a very basic concept and now its completely butchered!

My good friend Cranch, of Cranch Dressing recently told me this, "Remember the days when you were in a relationship before facebook confirmed it..."

Why yes Cranch, I sure do.

Now facebook is cluttered with status updates, quizzes/quiz results, photos ,etc. I mean who freaking cares what zombie or infectious disease they are? Its ridiculous all the nonsense they have added the past five years. I know they need to keep up with the times and make some necessary changes but it just seems a bit much. I do like the photo albums but some of it is overboard and plain trashy (I want to mention one slut here, but I will just be polite and keep my mouth shut ;) ).

(Angel or Devil Quiz, seriously?)

If you're reading this and you are a person sending me quiz requests and STUPID SHIT on facebook, please stop. I check the ignore button and never receive anything else from you again. Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't care about "where should you be living quiz" (by the way I took this one for shits and giggles and for the sake of this blog and it told me to move to Tokyo, yeah right). That quiz was about as accurate as the O.J. Simpson verdict...Tokyo and that cuban girl, comical.

I also don't care what Sex and the City character I am. My luck, my results would probably say Miranda and if that was the case I would just want to shoot myself. So stop, please stop sending me useless crap on facebook.

(Where should you be living Quiz, it exists.)

I'm on facebook to keep up with old friends and occasionally look at people I no longer like that I am still friends with.

(That Cuban Girl, Back in 2004 when facebook started.)

Thank you, bye!